One Of Their Favorite Things

When Snow boots become mud boots.

Pictures because I can. This new found power is scary.....

A Blogging Spaz

Well the other day I was definitely a blogging spaz, so, sorry if it was overkill. I just had a lot on my mind. I called the dr's office yesterday to request a referral to my endocrinologist. It was her day off so I'm waiting to hear. I feel a little better knowing I'm taking some action to look further into my thyroid issues. Since my higher dose as look back a few things have slowly been changing that I just kinda pushed to the side, I really hate having to deal with all this, I want to move on from it but that's just not the case.
In other news, I cancelled the home phone and we are officially in the fast lane with high speed internet and it's a whole new world!!!! It's awesome. We also paid off the van yesterday with some of our tax return and that feels good too. So there are some good things happening too. We are going to go through some homes down south a week from this Saturday so that will be interesting to see what happens or doesn't. Freeing up the budget from the van payment certainly gives us a little more breathing room than what we have. What's weird is, we're in better shape financially than we have been for about 3 years, because I actually started cracking down big time last January. It's a challenge to cut corners but the Lord has been really gracious in allowing us to slowly climb out of the mess we (I) got ourselves into.
Kid news... Christian has been saying things like " are you serious?" And yesterday , " I have phylum Izzy" Today he asked me with an ornery tone " are you stupid Mommy?" I had to tell him that wasn't being nice. As for the phylum comment, he has caught Isabelle's phylum hack, which is pretty bad so I knew when he got it was going to be really bad. Christian is a cougher, the kids can get the same cold and he will cough and she won't with some. If Christian has a phylum cough, he cough/pukes phylum up. If he has a dry cough, he coughs till he pukes up the food in his stomach. Last night he was coughing/choking on mucus. So GROSS, he was flailing his body trying to catch his breath and at one point ( this is going to be gross) This big bubble of phylum came out along with nasty mucus. His air couldn't get through it and he seemed to be having problems clearing it and breathing without the rattle. I got scared and I wondered " is this going to be our first trip to the ER?" So I took him out on our deck wrapped in a towel, me in my robe (thankfully it was probably in the 40's) to breath some fresh cool air. That really seemed to help him. I was really worried he would have a horrible night of choking and phylum-puking but God was so gracious and he slept through the night without a problem and that is not typical for him.

What Grave's Was Like For Me

I've always wanted to document my whole Grave's situation. What is was like, what my experience was and where I'm at now. I had pushed it to the side because I had some time to feel like a normal person again but since I've been feeling not so great the past few weeks ( it would have to start AFTER my dr's apt) it's brought it all to the surface again and I feel like spewing about it. ( the pics above are me pre graves with Isabelle, then pregnant with Christian where I look like death, then shortly after my RAI treatment with my thyroid still raging, I can a see difference can you??)

First of all, once you have Grave's you always have it. Check out more info here.

When this all started is slightly sketchy. We are not sure if it started before I got pregnant with Christian or if the pregnancy triggered it. I remember starting to feel tired and I quit exercising prior to the pregnancy. I also remember going from 124lbs to 121 lbs, yet my wedding ring got tight. Was this my thyroid? I'll never know. My first symptoms that made me think what is wrong with me was at the beginning of the pregnancy 6 weeks maybe I started to feel really tired, my legs trembled going upstairs, I drank almost a gallon a water a day. My hands trembled. The laundry piled up on the steps, to the point that MITCH started doing laundry and Linda would do some when she came over. I called the dr's office at around 13 weeks pregnant because neither one of our mother's thought it was normal for me to be this tired. I described my symptoms, tired, legs fatigued, shaky hands enough that my best friend and husband noticed and drinking so much water. I told her I wondered if something was wrong with my thyroid since my mom had a low thyroid in highschool and my aunt had it during one pregnancy. The nurse was very nice, she said it could be that just the pregnancy and having an 17 month old was just tiring me out. She said we can test your thyroid but if it comes back abnormal it may not be till after 16 weeks. Because you make more thyroid hormone at the beginning of pregnancy for the baby as the baby's thyroid is not functioning yet so it could appear to hyper thyroid but not really. This reason I learned through my own research. So I went on my merry way and around 16 weeks I thought maybe I was starting to feel slightly less tired so I kept on and we headed to KS for thanksgiving 2005. At this point I was 18 weeks. My parents were concerned and my aunt Diane noticed my eyes like they did. My parents talked to my cousin who is a nurse. I did not look good out of my eyes but they didn't want to worry me. It was mild weather and I remember just burning up in my sweater that day. For a while I had grown increasingly irritable and ANGRY. I would get enraged at Isabelle, I remember laying on the floor crying pleading with her to just obey. (something 1.5 year olds are so good at :))We went back home and I was excited to find out what our baby was, I had felt from the beginning that it was a boy, so did my mom and best friend. At the ultrasound the tech noticed that Christian's heartrate would go up and down, 150, 183, 215bpm. The doctor said she wanted to check my thyroid and see if that was the cause of the tachycardia. The tests came back and my TSH was undetectable. Hyperthyroid and very much so. Next came a very low dose of PTU. very low, my TSH did not improve but the dr said my t4 came down a tiny bit, enough to lower Christian's heartrate. Meanwhile my blood pressure was around 148/98 with a pulse rate of 136 bpm. The average person's heartrate is 60-80. A blood test confirmed I had Grave's Disease. Normally I would've gone through the tests and treatment to get it taken care of but since I was pregnant I had to wait and I couldn't take enough meds to bring my levels back to normal since it crosses the placenta and they didn't Christian's thyroid being affected. I had multiple ultrasounds to check him and they also once checked to make sure he did not have goiter. So my life was an exhausting existence. We ate out all the time, months would go by and I wouldn't do the budget or balance the checkbook, I couldn't, I so beat. I would yell at Isabelle, get angry at everybody. Then feel like a jerk for being that way. I went around hot, sweaty, shaking hands, legs, bug eyed. My eyes hurt so bad in the mornings and I wore sunglasses even when it was cloudy. I felt ugly and self conscious for so many reasons, I felt like my body was neutral yet flooring the gas petal at the same time, my mind was scattered and I felt shaky on the inside too, almost like I was observing myself. I felt misunderstood, I felt like nobody except for my mom and Mitch really understood that was freaking SICK. I couldn't function like a normal person at any capacity. I remember getting ready to go grocery shopping with Mitch and the getting ready alone wiped me out and I would lay down on the couch and sleep and he would end up going himself. ( I remember I couldn't stand doing my eye makeup because I just wanted to scream just something about it seemed tediously torturous and I wanted to jump out of my skin, weird yes) That man did so much during that time, taking care of a kid, cooking, or buying food :) etc; I felt like a worthless wife and mother. My biggest regret is not drawing upon the strength of the Lord as I should have but being so exhausted physically and mentally made that hard to do, not impossible though and I wonder how many blessings I missed out if I would've turned more to the Lord during this time than I did. It's all for my learning though and before I was a, get it together, shape up or ship out person. I didn't have a lot of compassion, I was very black and white. Then I fell hard, so there have been some beautiful things that sprang up out of this thorny mess. Things I prided myself on whether I wanted to admit or not, having my ducks in a row, having a good memory, having self control, looks, were stripped from me at that point and haven't all and may never will be fully back. I learned a lot about how much I took credit for what I had. So all of this babbling is therapeutic and yet I haven't even told my whole story...

So I continued throughout the pregnancy,weak, hot, frizzy-haired, wild eyed, angry and scattered, feeling like someone else.

I've always wanted to list all of my symptoms so here's break to enjoy the list... haha.

Recessed eyelids, dry eyes, bug eyed look.

Hot, sweaty in the Iowa winter.

Thirsty and Hungry

BM's 2-3 times a day.

Insomnia

Splitting nails and swollen fingers,

Frizzy dry hair and tons of it in the shower.

Shaky hands, I found a father's day card to Mitch after Christian was born the handwriting is so bad

Weak thigh muscles

Enlarged thyroid

IRRITABLE

high heart rate and blood pressure

exhaustion

trouble concentrating

horrible memory

messed up you know what drive (sad but true it's a effected by the thyroid too)

Back to my Audrey grave's saga:

37 weeks pregnant rolled around. The night before I went into labor was scraping drywall mud off the bottom of the downstairs shower, Mitch had been doing some household projects here and there. Mom would be coming to stay after the baby was born and I knew I needed to get that bathroom and downstairs ready for her. I was so tired I remember thinking, well if this doesn't send me into labor, nothing will. I never expected it to as Isabelle was 4 days late. I didn't know that my thyroid problems put me at risk for miscarriage, preterm labor and a small baby. You have to educate yourself I'm finding out. That night I woke up in th emiddle of the night, feeling gross and I couldn't sleep, I got up and took a bath and I was worried I was in labor, I didn't want to go in the middle of the night. The feeling subsided and I was able to sleep later. The next mornign around 11 am I lost my mucous plug and contractions remained steady. Christian was born around 4 am the next day. He would've come sooner but I waited for 3 hrs to be checked as they wanted to make sure I was not having preeclampsia. Then I had to walk to make sure I was progressing to even be admitted and have my water broke... so we got there at 7pm and I was walking at midnight, water broke around 2:30 am. And I had really hoped this time not to have missed a whole night of sleep the same as with Isabelle...so Christian is born at 37 weeks, techinically I was 37 weeks and 3 days but the nurse said she was putting him down as 37, she thought he was just barely 37 weeks. He was 6lb 1.5 oz and was 18.75 inches long. And healthy. He was out with 4 pushes and the Lord was so gracious and I only had a 1st degree tear and healing was much easier than with Isabelle.

So this concludes my part one of my grave's story. The next part will be my treatment begins and so does my new dr's office screwing up along the way.

random info. In 2004 my uncle philip also developed Grave's disease and had the RAI treatment. And after I was diagnosed with my disease my Dad found out he had Hashimoto's Disease, another kind of thyroid disorder. My aunt Denise has a low thyroid and their mother had a goiter, so it's in our family.

Kinda Freaking Out

Ok remember way back when I was concerned about my hair thinning?? I went to the dr (my fam dr, our cruddy united healthcare insurance will only let me see my endocrinologist unless I get referred and they aprove it, that may have to happen) my levels were this, TSH .87 norm is .3 to 4.2. My T4 is 1.6 normal is .6-1.8. I was on 50mcg till last April and my TSH was on the higher side of normal, so my dose was upped to 75mcg. My TSH was around 1.06 this summer. Anyway, my point is, for the past year my ponytail keeps getting smaller and smaller, it's half the size it was and now for the first time my hair is actually FINE, when I lose it in the shower, it's a wad of fine hair. I've been losing truckloads of hair since 2005 when this whole Grave's thing started and I didn't care since my hair got super frizzy and dry and it annoyed me anyway. The only time I noticed not losing lots of hair in the shower was when I was totally off the medication for 4-6 weeks and I went from high thyroid to low ( after my RAI treatment) long story the dr who was treating me had me on too much medication, wanted me to kill my thyroid AGAIN because they screwed up and didn't realize they had perscribed me meds yada yada, I switched docs, quit the meds till I saw my new dr. So as I was coming from high to low, that was the one time I didn't have all this hair in the shower. So I don't know if I need less of a dose or switching to a different thyroid medication, since some people on this medication levothyroxine lose their hair. GRRR cause I need one more THING!! Anyway so I'm ultra edgey lately, feeling tired and out of breath... I thought it was pms but I don't think that's supposed to last for 3 weeks. Anyway I feel that only my endocrinolist is fit to help me with this as they are into the details of the effects of thyroid disease. So feel free to pray, and let me know what you think of this freaking huge part/baldspot on my head.
oh AND I noticed my eyes looked bigger in pictures since this summer vs pictures taken prior, like Christmas.. Christian's birthday etc;

Beauty Products Part 3 (Kids)

Here are the products I use on my kids. Look up on the database all the " gentle" baby crap and you'll see how wonderful it is. Again my goal, finding safe, effective, afforable products. So here they are.

Jason Natural, NutriSmile Toothpaste, Orange, Cinnamon & Mint Flavor, 6 oz (170 g) rates a 2-3. contains Sodium Monofluorophosphate 0.76 (Fluoride) which rates a 6 for the ingredient. I think the kids should have fluoride in their toothpaste at this point too, although if your kids are younger they do make this flavor without and this brand has specifc kid toothpaste that rates a 2 and I would assume they don't have fluoride. Anyway I chose these toothpastes for us because they contain Sodium Monofluorophosphate instead of Sodium Fluoride which rates an 8 aka high hazard. Most toothpastes you find at walmart have that in it.

Stony Brook Botanicals, Body Lotion, Fragrance Free, 16 fl oz (470 ml) I can't find this product on the database but I did look up all the ingredients individually when I bought this and if I had to rate it myself I would guess a 2.

Earth Science, Fragrance Free Shampoo, 12 fl oz (355 ml) Rates a 2. Go type in Johnson and Johnson's into the database for fun to compare. I will say with this, I don't think you can just let the soap run in their eyes expecting it not to sting a little so I would be careful there. I saw they also have a conditioner and might look into that for Isabelle.

For washing their bod's I just use Dove soap or the suds off their shampoo if we're washing hair that night.

If you go chemical free with one area, I would do it with your kids, since they are smaller and absorb this stuff more. If you check past posts you can get more info, go to the labels regarding fragrance, bpa etc;

Beauty Products Part 2

Here are more products that I've found and use. My a.m. regimen is the face wash, the"clarifying lotion" you remember right? My camo eye cream AND this moisturizer, Aubrey Organics, Vegecol with Aloe, Moisturizing Cream, This does well for senstive, breakout prone, rosacea. Rating, 1. It absorbs quickly and my skin does feel firmer when using it as opposed to other moisturizers. I also have beauty without cruelty's oil free moisturizer and I tend to use that more in the summer but I think the Aubrey's does more for my face. One thing I'm stuck on is finding a moisturizer with spf that rates low hazard. I''m currently using aveeno I got last year I don't think it rates very good but I'm using it up before buying something else.

One of my latest finds is this Aubrey Organics, Natural AHA Fruit Acids, Exfoliating Mask with Apricot. Rates a 3. I use this once a week and I think it's helped my skin from breaking out so much. It leaves your skin exfoliated and really soft. I've reviewed the products on these links, you can tell which is one is me probably.

Other stuff I use:

Avalon Organics, Lemon Hand & Body Lotion with Beta Glucan, 12 fl oz RAtes a 3. I think it would've rated lower but the database didn't like that it said other unspecified essential oils.

Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps, Hemp Almond, Pure Castile Soap, 32 fl oz (944 ml) this I use for hand soap, it smells SO good, sweet almond. I get those foaming dispensers so it goes a lot further. Rates a 2.

Jason Natural, Powersmile, All-Natural Whitening CoQ10 Tooth Gel, Peppermint Flavor, 6 oz (170 g) rates a 3, contains Sodium Monofluorophosphate 0.76% (Fluoride)

Aubrey Organics, Men's Stock, Spice Island Face Scrub, 6 fl oz (177 ml) Mitch has used this, a cheaper scrub but I dont like it as well as my Jason brand for me. Rates a 3.

Sometimes it's good to look at the details as to why something is rated what it is. Things I always avoid are Fragrance and parabens. I don't need anymore endocrine disruption than I've already had. (parabens are en. distruptors)

Kid Update

Some entertaining ( to me) things the kids have said to me lately. Christian was climbing up on the chair and getting an apple out of the fruit basket. I asked him you want an apple Christian? He says This is a good idea, we can't have those ( pointing to the pears) they're not ripe yet. Christian enjoys provoking Isabelle at the table during meals and I guess he was doing something like repeating after her and she told me that Christian is revoking me, tell him to stop revoking me! Christian also was calling Isabelle a "diaper head" and then thought he was funny and said Mommy you're a Diaper with his ornery wrinkled up nose. Isabelle says, No she's not, she's old enough, she grew out of her diapers.

In other kids news, last week Isabelle told me her tooth hurt, I had her show me which one and it was one of the two front teeth. I felt it, then felt the other, then felt the first tooth again, it is slightly looser than the other. Is this possible?!!! Already?!! I told her I didn't think I was ready for her to start losing her teeth and she said don't worry Mommy, I'll still be you're baby even when I'm 5.

Valentine's Day Cookies

The girl, focused on the task at hand, we're decorating cookies people, not eating them.... like someone else is doing....

This is how a boy does cookies... eats them as he goes, sticks his fingers in each cookie, and licks it along the way... there you go... just SMASH those sprinkles in!!

pleased with a job well done

Dump em on, dump them ALL on...

Mom sent the kids cookies for the kids and lots of sprinkles for them to decorate cookies. They thought it was great fun! The kids had a pretty great Valentine's. They got goodies in the mail from Mom, A.Sandra, and Kay. Decorating cookies, playing outside in the snow with Daddy, and Valentin's Day fun and treats with Aunt Katie and Grandma Linda. Not too shabby!

We didn't know we'd be getting date till later in the day ( a great surprise) and we really didn't want to wait 2 hrs to eat so we ended up trying Buffalo Wild Wings and there was no wait...which is what I was going for, all the sports screens not romantic.. huh? Anyway I got two different sauces on the side, the hot wing sauce and the hot bbq. It was good... but hot, painful, and strangely addictive... it's like I had to keep filling my mouth and dipping, because if I stopped, it was just me and burn.... needless to say, I got some stomach pains the next morning and I had to make a few bathrooms stops before leaving for church. I still had pink mark part of my lip where the sauce touched my skin. And these sauces were just middle of the road on their smilin, sizzlin, screamin rating system.. I think they rated sizzlin or something.

In other kid updates... I'm trying to help the kids be more self-sufficient. We all win when this happens as far as I'm concerned! :) Isabelle learned to zip her own coat last week, she caught on fast and I wondered why I didn't make her do this a long time ago.... and Christian has been learning to put on his own undies and pants. He has fought me plenty saying " I CAN'T!! YOU do it!!" He's doing pretty well although he does end up the mermaid look from time to time.

The Dryer Screen

I had always gotten forwards about how if you use dryer sheets how it leaves a film on your lint filter. I was skeptical but wondered if it was true and never did the water test. Well today a load didn't get as dry as normal so I pulled out the lint filter (I clean if off after every load) and poured some water on top... the water just sat there, I was amazed, it's true, it's ALL true!! At first I thought, hmm well maybe that's just what water does on lint filters....I got an old toothbrush and dishsoap, scrubbed it, then ran more water over it, the water went right through, no pooling. So just a friendly tidbit to pass along.

Beauty Products Part 1

Since I had a specific request for more info on what beauty products I use that are chemical free ( or at least fragrance and paraben free) here comes my list. I suppose I will first say that before purchasing things like soap, toothpaste, moisturizer etc, I check the cosmetic safety database. It's in my FYI section on the blog, and if I can't find the specific product, I search the specific ingredients of the product I'm interested in.

I have not yet tried chemical free hair products for myself. ( I'll do a separate post for what I use for the kids)I 'll list in the order I use them.

0-2 low hazard,3-6 moderate, 7-10 high hazard

-Dove sensitive skin no fragrance bar, I wash with this and use this to remove my makeup and eye makeup. this used to rate a 2 but I just checked online and it's a 3 now... hmm go figure

-_Jason Natural, Red Elements, Exfoliating Scrub, 4 oz (113 g) rates 3

-Desert Essence, Organics Body Care, Red Raspberry Body Wash, 8 fl oz (237 ml) this used to be a 2-3 can't remember, no fragrance, parabens etc, does have alpha and beta hydroxy for exfoliation. I use on my shoulders and chest with a loofah too. And every night I use this little round face scrub pad with the facewash, it's at walmart, beside the little face loofah but not the loofah. Clear as mud??

-Vaseline for getting the rest of mascara off. rating? a big fat 0.

-Home Health, Blemish Treatment Lotion, 4 fl oz (118 ml) database rating, unknown, I looked up ingredients before buying... I'm guessing 2-3 or better. (it's like clinique clarifying lotion)

-Nature's Way, CamoCare Organics, Under-Eye Therapy, 0.5 fl oz (15 ml) looked these up and this has to be low hazard, not listed when I bought but again I looked up the ingredients.

Aubrey Organics, Lumessence, Rejuvenating Eye Creme with Liposomes, I use the nature's way in the am, aubrey's in the pm, rates a 2 I believe. I didn't mean to use two at the same time, I just thought I was running out of my aubrey's faster than I thought.

-Reviva Labs, 10% Glycolic Acid Cream, 1.5 oz if you try just one thing, this would be it, it turns the skin over great and rates a 2 last I checked. you may want to opt for the 5% if you think you could be irritated.

-ok ok I HAD weaned myself off of zit cream, till this year when I started having hormonal oiliness like I was 19 again. so for any zits that may be gracing my face.. Clean and Clear persa gel. rates a 3.

So that's my night regimen, (although I did list am eye cream, I didn't think it would take this long..) I can tell I'm going to have to do these in parts...everything I've used that I've got off iherb, I've reviewed, you can probably tell which ones are mine. My skin is oily and breakout prone lately (always oily...) so I'm always looked for things to help that skin layers keep turning over. Exfoliation!! Sounds obsessive but my skin breaks out when I get lax on exfoliating... annoying but whatever, I'm used to it buy now, I just thought my breakouts were gone for good there for a while... oh well, hormones keep you young right??

I try to basically keep what I buy in the price range of what I was already spending and getting as close to low hazard as possible. Until part two.....

Our 8 Year Wedding Anniversary

Today is our anniversary! It's hard to believe we've been married that long, yet it's hard to picture life not married at this point. As you can see,I had to scan a picture from my album, but I thought it was fun to get it out again. We usually end up watching our wedding video around this time every year. I very thankful for the 8 years we've been given. I just feel very blessed to go through this life and sanctifcation along side Mitch. So that's all, I could ramble on, as you all know... :)

In honor of the Love Month, 1 Corinthians 13

...and though I have all faith, so that I could remove montains, but have not love, I am nothing....

Love is patient and is kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Organizing

If you can believe it, I "organized" my blog posts, I went back and skimmed and put appropiate labels on them so they would be easier for me (or anyone else) to refer back if you were looking for something specific. I had been meaning to do this for a while and Kari spurned me on wanting to know about my makeup and chemical free beauty obbession. :) Also since she asked, I thought I may as well give an up to date list of what I do use and why. Not everything I've ever blogged about buying have I loved, but most I am very pleased with. So a list is to come one of these days...today I have a way overdue thyroid check. I was supposed to check in october but life got in the way.

Kid Updates

Where do I start with random kid updates??? Well...Christian to my surprise has been recognizing letters. Colors on the other hand still escape him... He's been in the habit of climbing on the counter to get cookies and candy, and telling things and people that he hates them. He's a tough one to crack sometimes... very stubborn. And very funny, I can't tell you how many times we are trying to deal with this kid (especially at the table, he thinks he can just slip out when he wants and come back to the table as he wishes) and he does something funny, and Mitch or I are for all we're worth to not break up laughing... it happened again.. I had to turn away while Mitch was in his face lecturing him and he puffs out his cheeks and blows out the air in a weird raspberry sort of way, and I just had to flat out leave the table. When does he say he loves us the most?? On his way to the bedroom for a spanking. He's an expert on playing the cute card, or the funny card. Battin those ridiculously long lashes after making requests. I just got him a snack and he wanted a Popsicle (which he didn't get) and says " I just love you so much" and yet, I just can't stop kissing that little boy.
I've been doing more "school lessons" with Isabelle. She loves it. She just acts better if I take the time to do it with her. Much more receptive to instruction, more mature and affectionate even... A year ago I bought some kindergarten workbooks and we've been going through those, she catches on. We're working on learning to write letters and numbers the RIGHT way...the right direction and order... you remember the numbers and arrows instructing how to write letters? She makes me laugh when she dances... she has her own little flare that's entertaining. I remember she started dancing before she turned one. She'd sit with her hands on the floor and just wiggle her little shoulders to the music.
That's all for kid updates!!