Happy 100th Post

1. I can't think of anything at this point better to celebrate the 100th post. "Delighting in the joy that is our strength". The is something about the truth of the Bible that evokes real emotion. It is an amazing feeling after being reduced into the worthless pile of rubble that you are, that Christ is Faithful, ever forgiving and sustaining and is the one that picks up you up and carries you on.
   So I'll quit blabbing and just type away more favorite parts of this book in chapter 2 and some of 3. I am moving slow I know, but something is better than nothing.:)
   
   
   Paul argues passionately that, while our personal well-being and our God require righteous conduct, God alone can provide our right standing with him. And he does this only through what Christ accomplished for us. Biblical standards meant for our good do not establish our relationship with God an more than a parent's rules establish his relationship with a child. Rules are an expression of love, but they do not establish love.
   
   

• ...faith is not a work of merit but is a gift of God's grace, so that we can be assured hat our relation with God does not lie in our human performance or resolve. This, to find release from he bondage and burden of sin, and to access the joy that is the strength of the Christian life, we must believe that we can rely entirely on our union with Christ to make us right with God.

• Spiritual pride dies when we realize that all of our comparisons with others based on relative levels of apparent goodness count for nothing in terms of gaining us standing with God. Being better than the next guy, being a more astute observer of his sin, or being more insightful about scriptural truth does nothing to earn me status with God. (spiritual pride) dies as a natural consequence among us who are crucified with Christian when we realize that our works in themselves count no more toward gaining us spiritual status than do the deeds of the dead.

• If no ones performance gains him upper-class identity, then no one is second-class in God's family. When we treasure our mutual value, the tensions drain from among us because we no longer need to highlight the failings of others to prove our own worth to God.

• So many of the people I deal with believe that they are worthless to God and, as a result, they are helpless. Some Christians fear that teaching about the security of our union with Christ will cause people to less concerned about the wrong in their lives. These concerned Christians reason that confidence in our relationship with God apart from our actions will encourage people do do as they wish. It is true that those who no real love for the Savior can see to take advantage of the grace that the presume exists for them. However, those who are truly in union with Christ increasingly heave the desires of the Author of that union, since his heart beats with them. More importantly, when an of us lose sight of our privileged position as a result of our union with Christ, we lose our ability to resist sin.

• Galatians: I would like to learn just one thing from; Did you receive the Spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain you goal by human effort?

• page 55 has a really great illustration and explanation of the sin that clings to us but it's no longer who we are because of Christ. Too long to type. :)

• Paul says that life inside me is Christ himself-and he is the only real life in me. Significant influences of my old sin nature still cling to me, but they are dead and the only thing that has life is Christ. The fact that more-or less- husk still clings to me does change the fact that the only thing living in me is Christ, who is my identity.

• By striving to do what God requires, and by God's disciplining me, more the old dead "husk" ( part of the illustration I didn't type) identity is being stripped away and more of the living Christ in me is being revealing. ( old me decreasing that he may increase)

• Yet, because of my union with Christ, I need never doubt that I am fully loved, even as the husks of my sin cling to me.

• Really great point brought up about thinking that practicing means of grace, reading bible etc; secures God's love on a daily basis. In our humanity it is natural to think in terms of such a barter system of love, but such thinking creates the impression that these Christian disciplines are not means of grace but means to grace. We reason.. that practicing more of the means of grace will cause God to love us more. (or conversely, love less) For instance, I have heard Christians say, " I knew I would have a bad day because I shortened my quite time of Scripture reading this morning.

• This is why I love this book!! Because I saw in myself and " christianity and churchiness" thinking you get brought up in, these thoughts. Like God is impressed by obedience or gives us blessings, like good doggy, have a treat. And taking pride in my "accomplishments" for lack of a better term, like I had a hand in them, and God should be "pleased" with me. The reality that salvation is by grace and so is SANCTIFICATION!!! It is freeing and encouraging and strengthening.

• But what if God's love were not seen as a well, remote and accessed only by endless striving but rather as the very air around us? Then we would not perceive the means of grace as a measure we take to produce God's love for us, but simply as means for using more fully the provision that already surrounds us. We would then see the Christian disciplines as mean s of opening our mouth to breathe in all the loving resources God has already provided. Opening my mouth in prayer and praise does not manufacture more of God's love me, an more than opening my mouth makes more air. The means of grace simply allow me to experience the fullness of the love that God has already fully and completely provided. that's awesome!!

• Faith that Christ's love surrounds each Christian enables us to live the life of godliness we desire. We interpret all events, whether delightful or difficult ,as part of this loving air. Thus, we are able to cease striving for affection an instead live partaking of the joy that is our strength, being daily renewed by the means of grace God provides to energize us and bring us joy.

• The limitations of our humanity and the resistance of our wills to the Spirit's nature enables us increasingly to discern and defeat the forces of evil in our lives. As our sanctification progresses, there i an ever-widening swath of the Spirit's influence in our lives.
• Richard Lovelace quote: in order to combat this sense of helplessness before the binding power of indwelling sin, believers should first be assured that sanctification, like justification, is grounded in union with Christ. The power of sin to rule their lives has been destroyed in the cross of Christ."

• Jerry Bridges quote: Sin is like a defeated army in a civil war, that instead of surrendering and laying down it's arms...continues to wage a guerrilla war... sin as a reigning power is defeated in the life o fa believer, but it will never surrender. It will continue to harass us and seek to sabotage our Christian lives as long as we live"

• There is more great stuff in this chapter but I'm getting tired of the typing... maybe some of you will read this book after all my typing... maybe??

Moving on to chapter 3.. you thought I was done, well chapter 3 is turning out to be awesome too so I have type some more stuff in the next 10 minutes before supper prep.

• If we fail to understand how we rely on God's grace alone to make us right with him, our Christian walk necessarily becomes a showy parade of pride in spiritual gifts and achievements, permeated with envy of others' accomplishments. (man worship, even a godly person, ok I added that part ;))Such pride and envy will also create an insatiable appetite for spiritual experiences that will prove we have met, or can gain, God's approval. Jesus wants to liberate us from the unappeasable demands of personal merit.

• without apprehension of God's holiness, we cannot see the reality of our sin. True repentance must include awareness of the magnitude of our spiritual destitution. Confession of such need of grace will not come until we begin viewing out lives from heaven's holy perspective. Few of will believe that we are in dire need of repentance if we base our understanding of our own need on comparisons to the obvious failings of others.

• It is the comparison to God's holiness that makes what is minor in the world's eyes wrenching to the Christian heart. As Paul grew in Christ he became increasingly aware of his sinfulness before a holy God. The more our understanding of God matures, the more we recognize our need of repentance.

• George Whitefield: we need to sense not only the evil of our sin but the evil of our righteousness. thought provoking isn't it?

• The goodness in our good works can be truly good and a blessing to others. There is a danger in making people think that there is nothing they can do that will please God or help others. Still, there is never sufficient goodness in our best works to make them truly holy by God's ultimate standard.

• I'll end on this, it's not the end of chapter 3 but supper is calling. This chapter looks into the story of Jesus and the rich young ruler and how he done x,y and z. And Jesus said paraphrased "great, now sell everything you have and follow me" the rich young ruler was bummed out and left. When Jesus identifies this "one thing" lacking, the man readily recognizes what Jesus requires.

• He requires everything.

• This concept has been working on me for a while, you know, take it for granted. But he wants everything, big to small. My husband, children, house, my health, my hair, eyes, money. To "ways" of thinking, ideas, presuppositions, judgements, personal entitlements, position in other people's eyes. ALL, everything EVERYTHING. The little dusty corner of your heart that you leave for yourself, that personal enjoyable sin and the guilt and weight from it, burdens worries, plans, details. He wants it all subject to his will and what his word teaches. The older I get the more I realize how much sinning I'm doing day to day in my state of mind and trains of thought. But the amazingness of God's grace swells in comparison to the sin.

Ok that's it, happy 100th post me.

sorry if there are typos :)

Just Not Sure

Today I'm having second thoughts about moving... I just DON'T know! We've had no more inquiries on our house and I'm not that dissapointed... maybe if we had a house we really wanted it would be different. Also the church we would've gone to the pastor is going to a different church and I'm just not very confident they will get one as good. It's a GARB general assosiation of regular baptists. I've never been a domination follower or "rules" for the sake of rules. I want biblical truth. Things done a certain because this is what the bible says. So that bummed us a little because it was hard enough leaving our church. I won't go into that again. Also our realtor has been delayed in getting a basement guy out to this washington house all week. And if we'd move, we'd downsize, and I'm not moving into a horrible area that you can't resale in. So hmm second guessing. We just wanted to live in the means of Mitch working 40 hrs and actually save some. So I don't know but God does and it is comforting to look back and see how He's worked as He sees the big picture.
And I've also been reading more in Holiness by Grace. This is book is awesome!! I'm only in the 3rd chapter but I can read 2 pages and come away with so much so I'm going to have blog some of my favorite parts soon....
It's been over a year and I'm coming up on our 100th post. So ain't that special?

Things That Warm This Momma's Heart

While sometimes I feel like I waste my time blogging, on the other hand, it's a lot like journaling our lives from my standpoint and I think I'll be glad to have blogged these memories I would've otherwise forgotten.
Christian is the most little affectionate child and has been since he was born. I know all the "Momma Love" will someday end all too soon and I will have wished I soaked it all up. He is always saying sweet things when I tuck him into bed at night. Last night as I was giving him many kisses on that cute face of his he said " Mommy I love you so much" Then he points to left cheek then his right and says, " kiss me here and here".
Isabelle, she loves to converse and we've had many conversations about all sorts of things including the Lord and I always wonder how much she is understanding. Last week before she got a spanking she informed me " I'm still a sinner". Praying after these times she has also asked me " will I not go to Heaven now?" It is challenging to teach Lordship salvation to a child. While all our sins are forgiven and our status with God is not changed based on our performance, it's a not free pass for sinning either. I try to explain to her we obey Jesus because we love Him and are so thankful for our salvation and while we will sin everyday our desire is not to. Our heart's desire is changed when we are converted. Anyway back to the point, last night we were talking all about these things, heaven and hell etc; And before tucking her in she said " I love the Lord" and I asked her "why?" I didn't know what to expect, something like "because he gave me my pink kitty" or something like that. But she said this to me, " because he is powerful and... he takes my sins away" So yes I had to pull back the tears of joy when she said that. It is encouraging that she is beginning to comprehend this and our prayer is it will become heart knowledge.

Chuck E Cheese

Mitch's boss was out of town for a week and he gave the guys Thursday and Friday off paid last week. Mitch wanted to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese. The last time we were there was August of 2006. We all had a great time!! An amazingly enough, nobody is sick from it...yet . :)

But let's back up to the craziness of last week.

Wednesday was major cleaning, I usually clean every week but this was detailed cleaning in case we had a showing of our house. I was so TIRED after that! I believe this was also the day I stupidly decided to get our house craigs list, I say stupid because I was up till midnight.

Thursday was chucky cheese for 3 hours then groceries. Need I say more. Friday was Mitch working on his car I can't remember exactly what he was doing but whatever it is, saved us lots of money. I did paperwork and budgetting. Lots of running numbers with the possible move etc; Saturday was getting up and getting the house ready for a showing at noon. After that, lunch, Mitch went to o riley's to get a sensor that the van needed and replaced it. I was beat. I think my thyroid is too high, and I had a headache because I've been clenching my jaw shut a lot lately and Mitch says he hears me hitting my teeth together at night. So I'm trying to be more mindful of that during the day. I just clench it when I'm focused on something. So I lay down on the couch to take a much needed nap as the kids watch the little mermaid. We get a call from someone new wanting to see the house and we ask for 15 minutes before they come to straighten up. Mitch also surprised me with the Twilight DVD!! We watched it that evening after the kids were in bed. Next day Sunday, it's Randy's birthday celebration and we are to be in Winfield at 12:30, it ends up being 12:50. :) We leave around 5:30 and decide to drive through washington for the heck of it and by this house we are considering. We get home at 8:00. I get carsick with a headache in washington and end up having to drive home. Ugh so beat!! We had a productive, enjoyable time, but it was crazy.

Our realtor is trying to set up a basement guy to look at this house this week. That's what we are waiting on. We've heard no more on our house, so we're just , especially me, trying to not over think things and really Proverbs 3:5-6 it. :)

March 31st I go to see this new endocrinologist. Which I should post some pictures of my hair that I'm bringing with me to the dr!!!! Another reason I know things can't be right is my monthly present only lasts about a day in a half. I feel like my eyes look worse in pictures as of late. But I'm hopeful since I'm getting to see this dr.

April 8th Christian is 3, April 12th is EAster, April 14th is Christian's 3 yr dr apt and Isabelle will get 2 shots. April 23rd is kindergarten round up. May 4 is Isabelle's birthday and I'll need to schedule her dr's apt. And house stuff possibly mixed in all this, I'm clenching my jaw just thinking about it... STOP!!! I don't do well with busy but I know the Lord will carry me through each day as pretty much I can't help or cut anything out that is going on at this point.

House Update

We put our house on Craigs List this week. We thought since we're looking at homes we may as well get the ball rolling and explore the do-it-yourself option first. As it saves you thousands of dollars. The craigslist option made this much more appealing. We had our first showing today so we'll see what becomes of that. These people have till the end of may to be out of their apartment. As for us, there is one house we are interested in but the basement is horrible. A bowed wall that has been anchored at least. And water seeps through the floor so we are going to have someone look at it and give us an estimate to see what it would cost to drain tile it and put a sump in. This home has been on the market since August and has had to offers. I think it's and we love the location but the basement is an issue and we'd make an offer in light of that and the fact they've had no offers. It's so hard not to try to MAKE this all work out. But life is way easier for me if I rely on the Lord to work out the details and trust Him to work out whatever His will is. I'm trying to remain open to His leading. I told Mom the other day as she said I need to quit obsessing, because go through all the scenarios and details over and over and back and through. I told her, I'm giving to the Lord!! She said, but you keep taking it back!! You need to keep giving back to Him. So a lot of grabbing it back and giving it back. So you all feel free to pray for God's will in this housing situation.!! That's all from me today, I need to go eat lunch.... late... again.

Educational Info/Grave's Saga

Pregnancy and Thyroid Disease.
I thought this was very interesting. I was always told, should we decide to have another child someday, to let the endocrinologist know right away. But now I have more questions in light of this statement. Ideally, hypothyroid women should have their levothyroxine dose optimized prior to becoming pregnant and should have their thyroid function tested as soon as pregnancy is detected. What does "optimized" mean? slightly higher than I would normally like it? Or just make sure it's good and normal...? Just a random thought...

Strep

Last week, I took Christian to the dr as you know for his double ear infection. The following Wednesday, I woke up with a sore throat, that kept getting worse.. I felt like I was swallowing a knife but had no other symptoms. I researched it online and I was afraid I had strep, I've never had it before neither have the kids or Mitch. By 4 pm I was in so much pain I called and begged the dr's office to just call me some meds. Of course they would have to see me. I had a horrible night of barely any sleep as I woke up every time I swallowed my knife down my swollen throat. By 4 pm I was had diarrhea issues and was running fever by 6 am. Called the dr at 7 couldn't get in till 10:20. Went in. STREP. At least I wasn't making it up. It hurt so bad. I went to bed with a towel on my pillow so I wouldn't have to swallow. Gross, yes. But I was desperate, every swallow was torture. Anyway so I'm feeling much better now and Mitch came down with the cold Sunday but no more strep so praise the Lord for that!! I was worried someone else might get it.

My Grave's Saga Part 2

About 6 weeks have passed since Christian's birth. They weren't easy, he was a fussy eater ( still is) and I would get so exhausted when he wouldn't latch on in the middle of the night, he'd pull my hair. I remember not caring, just letting him struggle, crying, (me too) I was overwhelmed. ( he could latch on but wouldn't if he was gassy and it was so frustrating to me) I remember bringing him to our bed all swaddled and plopping him down at my wit's end. I adored this little muffin but at times I could get so angry, if he wouldn't sleep, I would think and sometimes even say I hate you. ( I was exhausted from the disease, let alone having a child who just turned 2 and a newborn) And I hated myself for it. Such a cycle of anger and regret. I would think what kind of a mother says this? All the while, loving him, snuggling him and I was so proud of him. I don't want to freak anybody out thinking I was pshyco because most of the time there was nothing but motherly love but I did have some moments.

I started seeing an internist who would get me officially treated. No more PTU to supress the thyroid, we were going to kill it through Radioactive Iodine. ( the thyroid is the only organ that aborbs iodine, and everyone needs just he right amount of it, or they will be either hyper or hypo) Here's where that dr's office started screwing up. I scheduled my uptake scan and the nurse called me and told me to be off my PTU for a week. Ok I do that, as you can imagine, now I didn't even have my small dose to help me in even the slightest bit. I have to go early in the morning, you have to go in and take a small about of radioactive iodine ( I think) then go back a few hrs later and see how much your thyroid is absorbing it , they take scans of your thyroid. So I have Mitch stay home from work in the morning till my sister in law Katie can make it up there to watch the kids. I go in to the hospital, you know, check in here, check in there, wait here, wait there. So finally the dr comes out. He's double-checking ok so you've been off the PTU for a week. Yes. And you've been off your multi vitamins? no. *@$@##@! The nurse NEVER told me she NEVER told me about being off them. Many multivitamins contain, iodine so that's a problem. I am so angry and I'm fighting off tears. I reschedule for next week. More time for my thyroid to have at me no holds barred. I go back the next week, I can't remember the numbers but I recall something like this, you're supposed to only absorb 25% of the iodine and I did 85%. I have to pump and dump for 3 days. (nursing)

We schedule the RAI ablation. I will have to quit nursing. I can't be close to the kids for 7-10 days. I can do a quick hug but no prolonged time close. I plan on going to my parents and staying over the 4th of July so mom can take care of the kids. I get this card to put in my purse in case I need to board a plane and they think I'm a bomb. I cry at the thought of not being able to hold and snuggle Christian. Isabelle was such a little go getter so I knew she would be ok with quick hugs. :)

to be continued.... :)

I put that picture up because I think it's just adorable and it was smack dab in the middle of this time in June. Isabelle had just turned 2 in May and Christian was 2 months.

Spurgeon Quotes That Must Be Shared

Hope itself is like a star-not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of the adversity. .real growth in grace is the result of sanctified trials. God often takes away our comforts and our privileges in order to make us better Christians.

Prayer is the forerunner of mercy. God has given you many an unsolicitied favours but still great prayer has always been the prelude of great mercy with you. Prayer is thus connected with the blessing to show us the value of it. If we had the blessings without asking for them, we should think them common things; but prayer makes our mercies more precious than diamonds.

I doubt whether there are not some Christians giving away tracts at other people's houses who would do well to give away a tract at their own- whether there are not some engaged in works of usefulness abroad who are neglecting their special sphere of usefulness at home. Let your religion begin at home. Many tradesmen export their best commodities- the Christian should not... let him have a care to put forth the sweetest fruit of sprititual life and testimony in his own family. You may but speak a word to a child, and in that child there may be slumbering a noble heart which shall stir the Christian church in years to come. -Spurgeon

One Sick Boy

This is our new couch... and Isabelle wanted to show me her blocks... what a Monday...

Pretty sick for someone who doesn't take naps and falling asleep on the couch, looks deja vu from that post of Lindsay's with Jack sleeping...

As you know Christian has been sick, he seemed to be doing a little better Sunday but Monday I started the day laying in bed, sticking my hand out to catch gross amounts of mucus in my hand that he was throwing up. Delicious. He was super whiny, " I love you " he says which also translates as " I need you" at times like these. He then would cough once then throw up all his juice he had been drinking, this happened 3 times in addition to the mucus puke. He was lethargic. Laying on the couch, my new beautiful couch.. initiating it with water/juice vomit. I called the dr. We went in at 1:40 and he hadn't thrown up for a few hrs. He did however once in the dr's room, cough once, and projectile juice and water all over the floor, my coat, his leg, blankie etc; Amazingly he had no fever, I had to carry him the whole time and he fell asleep waiting. Turns out he has a double ear infection. ( he got a lot of sympathy in his pathetic state, especially when he kept saying, Mommy I love you... )Last year we all got this nasty phlegm/ cough virus and Christian's went into an ear infection then too. After giving him antibiotics at 4 pm he was still miserable ( he slept on the couch for a while) and became inconsolable at 7:30. I was worried, I gave him to Mitch to check out the internet to make sure he didn't have Fifth's disease or something since he was flushed on his torso, the symptoms didn't add up I came upstairs and Mitch said he was crying, fell asleep or a couple minutes, then woke up and wanted to play with his cars... SO WEIRD the meds finally kicked in I guess, so the once couch ridden boy was pushing his vehicles all over the floor, so that's great!! I felt like Mitch Benny-Hinned him or something while I was downstairs and he was miraculously HEALED. ( lol total joke)