Mother's Day

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I forgot to put these up, I'm sure you were all wondering... all two of you read my blog... maybe the two of you who actually do could vote on my may 13th post hmm?? I need some feedback!
Mother's Day weekend, Linda had the kid's friday and saturday night and we all got together on sunday for lunch. The weekend was so... nice and relaxing.. I missed my babes the whole time but it was nice to just have worry about myself for a change... I even painted my toe nails...
click pic

Isabelle's 5 year Dr apt

Just an update on Isabelle's growth stats. She is in the 50% for both height and weight 39# and 42 3/4 ". She gained 5 lbs and grew 3 and half inches since last year. She also was very brave for her remaining two shots and lead test. She started crying the day before when I told her and said she was getting hot. Poor thing. The agreement was if she was still she would get ice cream, that didn't happen last time so no ice cream. Sounds mean but they did get happy meals, but no ice cream. This time, she cried but held still, she would start to freak then say " ok ok" and calm down. After the finger prick which scared her the most she thanked the nurse with a tear stained face and said with determination. " This time I'm going to get ice cream!!" She endured and reaped the benefit. I was so happy for that she pulled through and chose to control her fears. I think it's a good life lesson so that she won't let fear paralize her and sometimes in life you have do something a little painful or scary but the reward is well worth it and you get sense of " I CAN do it!!" God does give us the grace to get through the day He has planned for us.
For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jer 29:11
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13

Do I take the blog off lockdown?

I have found a way to track who is visiting my blog. The whole point of this lockdown came a year ago when I got a nasty "anonymous" comment on my blog. Even though I think I know this person, who I never invited to the blog but I think a well-intentioned relative did and invited them. Anyway it was aggravating and I thought, I only want people who actually care about our family reading this, it's creepy otherwise and violating. You had to know the blog address itself to even access this blog, I thought that was "safe" enough. My blog could never have been searched out. Anyway so unfortunately I had to inconvenience the people I intended to read the blog by making them sign in. I think it detracts some people because they forget how they signed in or my blog doesn't go their" feeds" or whatever since it's private. So comments and votes appreciated. Is it better to just keep it the way it is? I really don't want the "anonymous" reader back. Of course I would be able to tell if they were visiting but still... to unlock or not??

Thyroid Update ( girl menstrual cycle talk, beware)

Today I went to the endocrinologist again. It had been six weeks since I was there and we started alternating between 75 mcg doses and 50's. I can tell I am feeling better than I was. The edge is taken off for sure and it has reflected in my monthly cycle. I was reading more about basal body temps and how your luteal phase should be lasting about 14 days and mine was only lasting 10. This month it lasted 13 days and my period lasted a little bit longer than it had. 3.5-4 days vs 1.5-2 days. My blood draw from last Friday reflected it. Normal range for TSH is .3-3. ( the lower this number the higher the thyroid and vice versa) T4's range is .8- 1.8. This Feb when I wasn't feeling right, they had called and Mitch took the call and relayed my levels were within normal range. I called back to find out just what the numbers were. TSH .87, t4 1.6. I felt they were on the high end of normal. I have been on 75 mcg, 50 mcg and back up to 75 and now alternating. I actually asked my endo last april from the university if it would help to alternate, he didn't think it would make a difference... but I think he wasn't a seasoned endo because he always had to have another endo double check his work. ANyway so back to my levels now. TSH 1.53, T4 1.08. And I feel the difference amazingly enough. Nothing drastic but like I said, the edge is off and the cycle has improved. And my heartrate has been around 64 bpm. Quite the change from the bad days of 136 bpm.
So I am so thankful!! I really didn't think this would fix things for me but it sure seems to. THank you Lord!!
Also it really pays to be your own health advocate, know your disease and read up on it and listen to your body and get the numbers. Had I just accepted " normal range" I would've not been living as healthy as I could be. In the book The Thyroid Solution it talks about how different people have different normals. What feels fine to one person may not feel right to another. Listen to your body I've learned. It's annoying to have to keep going back and switching doctors or getting referred to specialists etc; but you can't depend solely on your doctor, the patient plays a large role in their health care and treatment. This endocrinologist gave me the option to switch to synthyroid, the brand, because sometimes generics don't have the same consistent purification process or I could try alternating doses. I was the one who chose. I chose to alternate and stay on the levothyroxine because I had heard from my cousin's husband who worked for a pharmacist and my dad is friends with one, both said if you start on one or the other, don't switch because your body will have problems adjusting even if you go back to what you started with. Synthroid or Levothyroxine.
So that's my update, maybe it will help someone somehow, gotta get myself to bed now.

Quote

I had to share this quote that a friend sent me from church. It's from the book How People Change.

Each morning that greets me is full of hope
Not because I am successful at what I am doing,
Or because the people near me appreciate me,
Or because circumstances are easy,
but because God is, and he is my Father.
To look at the morning any other way
Is to believe a lie.
To live in hope is to live in truth;
To live in truth is to bring him glory;
To bring God glory in my daily living
Is the highest form of worship.

This is chalked full of good stuff. You can't have hope without TRUTH(hebrews 4:12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart), and living in truth brings God glory and that bringing God glory in my DAILY LIVING ( thoughts, motives, attitudes, purposes, agendas, you get it by now probably... I won't break out the thesaurus) is the HIGHEST form of worship. He doesn't need showy actions, he wants the depths of the heart. (proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.) This pretty much slams pragmatic, end justifies the means mentality. God wants me to give Him the details, he wants the means.
One of the things I have been learning through this housing process is that I don't have to make this happen... I don't have to go out on a limb and do something that feels uncomfortable to make something happen. Through out my life I have learned that if I'm earnestly seeking and praying for God's will and handing over said circumstance that He gives you peace when you're where He wants you.
At the risk of squandering my sleep I am going to go for now and quit my "mind to fingers communication on the keyboard".

My Dirty Little Secret

I've cheated on my chemical ( to a certain extent ) free ways...Ugh, I don't know even want to know WHAT this rates on the cosmetic database. But dang it, it was almost Easter and I had grays popping up all OVER the place and now with not having quite as much as hair as I used to, I need to keep all the hairs I can and plucking them (for their number was many) was just not an option. Another thing is that my other low chemical color didn't seem to get my roots dark enough, it actually lightened them and the only darker step was black... I don't have black hair.. and I'm not buying two boxes to mix it, it would be like 50 bucks. So for half the price and nice dark matching roots I got this stuff in dark brown... so I saved money and TIME only 10 minutes to color... I'll probably get cancer now but it was liberating on so many levels... except the health level... ALSO totally cheated on my moisturizer, neutrogena, Neutrogena Ageless Intensives™ Tone Correcting Concentrated Serum Night to be exact. I'm terrible but again... I liked the results... it really exfoliated... I don't think it rates very well... but it is fragrance free... it just probably has a lot of other horrible things in it... More bad stuff... I totally love this new shampoo and conditioner I got at the salon that was on sale. Silky Sexy Hair for fine hair, NEVER would've thought I'd buy something for fine hair but that's what mine is now days... I shouldn't feel SO bad because I never went chemical free for my hair products just for the kids... but still... Anyway everything else that I said I was using I still am... I just might cheat on these few things.... JUST remembered what else I cheated on... LASH BLAST masara by Covergirl. I've sunk to a new low... but we're in a recession and something's gotta give...

The Little Girl is 5.

To me, 5 years old is a big deal. Simply put, it's an end of an era. If you think of kid's life in 5 year increments and how fast this first phase went and it's only going to go faster... how much did she change from newborn to 5, to 10, 15, etc; I just don't know what to say, time goes by fast and everyone tells you that as you struggle through pottytraining and fit throwing and you think yeah right. So the helpless babe can is now my most willing little helper, tieing her shoes and her robe like a big girl, concerned that boys are too rough, and reading herself stories and adding parts that I think are just so cute. She has this book called, The Princess And The Kiss, it talks about how when the princess got older her parents gave the kiss to her to keep, but she instead said, when the princess grew up she got a beautiful pink dress. It's funny to listen when they don't know you're listening. While I could ramble on I'll just end with Happy 5th Birthday Sweet Isabelle! I can only hope you want to hang out with me as much in 10 years....:)