Intro To What Grave's Was Like For Me

This is really out of order obviously, but I read this in Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, the link is at the top of the blog if you're interested. I came across this and thought it was perfect. I also am going to have to refer to this when sickness time comes this winter... because I start to DREAD, I mean DREAD sickness. I have nightmares about vomit, so it's a problem for me and another little area of my life I'm working on relinquishing, we will still sanitize, wash hands and avoid sick people but I will TRY not to fret.

I tend to me a person of " if only". I haven't gotten to extent of my would be if only's in my grave's story, but I suppose it could start with " if only the nurse would've realized I was listing off grave's symptoms at 16 weeks pregnant" It can drive me crazy, like other things in my life, unanswered questions that I probably won't know the answer to on this earth. The Lord has been teaching me things even within this past year of looking back on all the hurtful things throughout my life (as all lives have), as things God perfectly planned for my santicfication, while I want to look at things with regret of oh man if ONLY, I'm coming to realize, this was preordained, perfect and GOOD for me. Grave's was good for me. People issues that happen and hurt are good. That is freeing, freeing ,freeing. This was always supposed to happen and therefore well with my soul. I can forget those things which are behind and take with me to the future the things the Lord has taught me about himself. My dad has always loved the verse in proverbs. " The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." That pretty much sums up life. How can we know him if we don't read his word, pray, and go through trials with him, no matter the size?

And so the intended quote and intro:

The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of him who numbers the hairs of our head.
- Spurgeon