What are the odds...

A couple of really great if it can go wrong it will stories. First one, last week, putting up the tree. I test all the lights, two strands a go, one strand, a few out. So I get out my spares and get my food scraper to loosen the lights and since of none of the replacement bulbs match I have to do the whole remove the light from the holder to put it in the corresponding strands base. I end up with more lights out than replacements. No prob, I'll just put all the burnouts at the end of the string. I then begin the fun job of stringing the lights that I checked... because nothing's worse than stringing them and having them not work, I get a little dizzy going around and around the tree. Lights strung, moment of truth. half of one strand is out. Curses. Unstring two outside strands and settle for one inside strand one outside strand. Ok still pretty. A couple days later, another goes almost ALL out. I took really annoying long winded measures to prevent this and it happened twice anyway!!! I'm just too tired to buy more lights and redo the entire dad gum tree.

Another much more humiliating story. This too has happened to me twice. We seem to have some problem in the sewer line, it clogs 30-40 feet out and this happened last year and again today. I rarely "use" the downstairs bathroom. But I was down here putting in a load of towels because we had water in the basement last night from what we thought was a frozen hose from the sump. Christian does his numero dos. Flush no problem. I'm down there, I too have to go "use" this bathroom. As I'm sitting there, I hear blub blub. ( this is the sound the toilet makes when water is about to come up our shower downstairs and the drain.) The washer is draining and the water is backing up. Literally oh crap. No flushie for Audrey. I get to have Roto Rooter out. This is the second time this has happened to me. I have no dignity left. Especially now after blogging this.