What I wish I Knew

After going into a lengthy facebook message to a friend yet to have children explaining what "crotch soaking" was all about, I thought about all the things I didn't know about birthing in the hospital that first and second time that I wished I knew now. So here's rough list of what I would tell a first time mom.

1. Limit your visitors, ask people to call first, and you may not guarantee that you're up for it. Limit the time spent, say something like, yeah if you want stop in for a few minutes in between a feeding that would be great. Ask the nurses to not let anybody call the room, or give your room number out. That way you won't have anyone unsuspected knocking at the door or calling if you have finally fell asleep. You will already have nurses bothering/checking you, your pad that you're bleeding all over, and squishing on your uterus. Then they will be checking the baby as well, off and on, night and day. You will also be dealing with signing birth certificates, hospital pictures, lactation consultants, hearing screening, there's just a lot of crap going on.

2. Your crotch is going to hurt if you push the baby out yourself. You will need to be changing pads, and soaking in sits baths at least 3 times a day. Hence the visitor issue, nothing like feeling like you can't leave to soak and your crotch is burning.

3. Nursing is a learning process, it's worth it to unlatch the baby if they aren't on right, trust me. Wear nursing pads even if your milk's not in and air dry your nipples before putting your bra back up. I learned this the hard way, mine got stuck to my bra, and I had to peel it off, there was blood and hence the name " hamburger nipple" entered in our family. See how visitors can pose problems for this???

4. Don't be afraid to have the nurses hang a DO NOT DISTURB sign on your door at certain times ,when dang it, you just need 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep because the odds are working against you in a mighty way.

5. If your baby is hungry, don't feel bad about taking the baby back from a loving family member, and warn them, it's boob-time, so stay at your own risk. You aren't a baby birthing, bleeding, lactating hospital hostess.

6. Speak up for what you need, most all nurses are wonderful, caring and will work with you to find some rest. Don't be afraid to use the nurse button for fear of being a " bother" especially if you're paralyzed from an epidural, sitting in a chair, waiting for some inept cleaning people for way too long to change the bed while you're holding a sleeping baby in a chair and would like to catch a snooze yourself at 4am and despite the fact you're throwing pillows at his head, your husband just wont wake up off that little couch.

7. Have a little confidence in your own motherly intuitions, don't do anything that you don't feel great about just because it's going to inconvenience someone, or you haven't been a mom before and they have or whatever. You're going to make mistakes but the ones that bug you the worst will be when you wished you would've just gone with your gut, a little prayer and counsel never hurts but it's your baby. Your baby.

8. Schedules can work wonders after a few weeks!! Don't feel guilty about baby's sleep taking a certain amount of priority, but it is good to be flexible, small babies can nap just great in their carseats while out and about, and let me tell you, you'll want to get out a little. :)
Ok so unless I think of anything to add, oh WAIT

9. Tinkle before nursing, gets the bladder out of the way so it helps the uterus return to normal size easier when nursing stimulates contractions.

10. After you're home, make sure " help" means helping YOU in whatever YOU may need, picking up some random thing at the store, bringing you food, holding the baby while you nap or soak, doing a load of laundry, or dishes even just keeping you company while you nurse for hours. :) I remember hearing a story of a woman who's mom in law came and held her baby all day so that the mother could clean the house. Nice, so you've been incubating this baby for 9 months and suddenly it's doing you a favor to not get the hold this long awaited bundle and clean instead....( this is NOT my story... because you all know.. I don't hate cleaning. :))

So that's my advice, you've been warned. ;)